There are comments among the essay.
Also attached overall comment:
What went well
You have started to make a good attempt to answer the assignment brief and have begun to use the essay guidelines as a suitable framework which is good. You have also identified a broadly suitable scenario and key points have been supported with evidence. There are also some useful links of theory to practice using the scenario so well done.
What could be improved
However please ensure that you write in a formal and academic manner throughout and that all key points are supported with reliable and up-to-date academic evidence from the last 10 years wherever possible. Please avoid so many short paragraphs and subheadings as it makes the ideas difficult to follow. The scenario needs to have a clearer leadership focus rather than just a clinical one. The writing is currently quite descriiptive and needs to be much more analytical throughout. Therefore please continue to follow the essay guidelines on Moodle carefully and in full as well as the resources to help you.Wider reading is also needed.