Recent class reading by Vincent Genovesi speaks of love in three of its formsself-love, immature love (infatuation), and mature love. As we reflect on our experiences, we can probably recognize instances and/or patterns of love in our life story, usually taking shape during our adolescent years. Sometimes these patterns follow a typical developmental pattern and are largely unremarkable.
At other times and for various reasons our growth into mature lovers can experience some significant detours. Regardless of our histories, we all likely have aspirations for the type of lovers we would like to become, The task for this journal entry is to reflect on the loves that have been part of your life and conclude with your hopes for the loves to come.
Questions you might want to consider include: How well do I love myself? Does it come naturally or is it a struggle? If its a struggle, have I fallen into any of the patterns that Genovesi describes on the second half of page 139 and/or the top of page 140? What would help me love and value myself more? How have I experienced love in my family, i.e., have others consistently nurtured my beauty and potential or does it feel like something different has gone on?
What has my romantic history been like? Episodes of infatuation? Mature love at an early age? Have there been times when I have mistaken infatuation for true love? Have I ever been sexually attracted to someone and thought that was a sign of true love? Conversely, has there been someone sexually interested in me (but no more than that) whom I mistakenly thought actually loved me?
Did that work out well in the end, or was someone left feeling used and unsatisfied? We use many expressions to refer to sex; we “hook up,” “get laid,” “screw,” “fuck,” and so forth. But an older term you don’t hear as much about today is “make love.” Have you experienced sex as an act of love? Not just sex with someone you love, but sex as body language which says “you are loved.”
How is “making love” different than “having sex” or “hooking up”? And finally, what do I need to work on? What kind of lover do I hope to be? Your entry should be 500-1000 words. Be sure to respond to question #6, but limit yourself to one or two questions from #1–5. Select the question(s) that speak to you the most.